Poem for Max

Little (God's) Creature
by Samuel Hazo

"Do you know what love is? Get a dog."
- Mona Van Duyn

Simply by lying down and being
dog, he demonstrates how
satisfaction differs from fulfillment.
Oscar's fulfilled.

Without
a clock he knows the time
of night, of year, of age.
...

What makes me love this pooch...?
...Is it
because he pays attention
and accepts contentment as life's
best reward?
Is it because
he thinks precisely with his nose
and chats concisely with his tail?
Or is it just his irreplaceability?
Each night he lies beside me
while I read

In dog's arithmetic
he's half my age, but catching up...
How innocent he is of malice,
treachery, impatience, envy
and the fear of death.

I read.
He sleeps.
We share mortality
in silence, breath by breath.

Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

I just finished reading this, finally. I mean, war books can take a long time to get through, right? So it goes. Anyway, Slaughterhouse Five is largely about author Kurt Vonnegut's experiences fighting as an American soldier in World War II. His tone and phrasing throughout the book are full of dark humor. A commonly used expression in Slaughterhouse is, "So it goes." It is Vonnegut's unique writer's device, used to transition from A to B in his writing, and to explain the "why" behind unjust events. To me, it's Vonnegut's equivalent of saying "Shit happens," "And that was that." Here's an example of how he uses the phrase: "..they saw some other people moving down by the riverside and they shot at them. They hit some of them. So it goes."

Vonnegut mainly writes about the awfulness of one particular bombing, in which he was present after he'd been captured as a prisoner of war during the final months of World War II. It was the Bombing of Dresden, an air raid bombing in Germany in 1945, whose death toll and destruction Vonnegut implies, were greater than the death toll and destruction of Hiroshima, Japan. (Casualties according to estimates in the 1970s by comparison: Hiroshima - 71,379; Dresden - 135,000). (More recent estimates suggest the casualties from Dresden to be between 22,000-25,000).

The plot of Slaughterhouse Five, and the main characters, are presented in such a way that Vonnegut's timeline of events is extremely erratic. This disjointed storyline is perhaps a coping mechanism for Vonnegut the writer, or to represent a reflection of a soldier's nightmarish memories. OR perhaps a way to make the story more interesting and bearable for readers, or himself. It does make the story more full, more colorful, and much less horrible to read about the destruction and aftermath of the bombing. His erratic plotline, absurd events and darkly comedic commentary make me think that Vonnegut himself must have suffered serious psychological repercussions from having witnessed the firebombing of Dresden. So it goes. (and by the way, I generally found this book to be very entertaining, enjoyable and historically educational).

Favorite excerpts:

[after the author compares the wreckage of Dresden aesthetically to the face of the moon].
"Nobody talked much as the expedition crossed the moon. There was nothing appropriate to say. One thing was clear: Absolutely everybody in the city was supposed to be dead, regardless of what they were, and that anybody that moved in it represented a flaw in the design. There were to be no moon men at all."

"Billy got out of bed in the moonlight. He felt spooky and luminous, felt as though he were wrapped in cool fur that was full of static electricity. He looked down at his bare feet. They were ivory and blue."

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Genre: Self-help; travel-adventure narrative
Length: 445 pages (compact version)
Purchase here (used: $3 ; new: $8)

You've probably heard of this book. I'm not a girly-girl, but personally I found it helpful--even comforting to read. It reminded me that I don't have to be traditional if I don't want to be. It reminded me that I don't HAVE to get married and have kids by age 30--or by any age for that matter.

I can relate in so many ways to Gilbert's journey, reflections and her most cherished role--that of a writer. After a bad breakup--and much deliberation and desperation-- she chose to temporarily leave her life in New York City and travel to Italy, India and Indonesia for one year (4 months each). I too was seeking something more in 2009 when I went to South Korea for one year. The events that lead up to my travels mirrored Gilbert's story in many ways. So, this story spoke to me on a sincere, personal level. But I believe Gilbert's message is so universal--anyone can embark on a similar, soul-searching adventure, (and without the international travel). This is what I took Gilbert's message to be: If you're stuck in a rut and you can't find your way out, take a bold leap and create a new path for yourself--one that might defy convention--one that feels right for YOU. Search yourself and your surroundings--or change your surroundings--be willing to work at it. Don't hold onto your possessions and your attachments so tightly. Be yourself and allow time, space and people to help heal you.

I wasn't much a fan of Gilbert's quirky, informal writing style at first, but I came to appreciate it as her own. She added a lot of needed texture by researching the histories, evolution and etymologies of the things she wrote about and including her findings along with her personal anecdotes and musings--which were oftentimes hilarious. She at times revealed details of her darkest hours--something to which every reader can reach out and connect. I eventually came to like her writing style, but I do think it was very "Sex and the City" at times, too. (Only more cultured, with less drinking and much less sex).

Something that still strikes me as a little peculiar is how "perfectly" everything seemed to evolve throughout the story. I find myself asking several questions. 1. Had Gilbert not had a wealth of prior international travel experience, would she have adapted so well to living in 3 foreign countries for a year during her writings? 2. Had she not had financial support and abundant resources to pull from, would she have been able to fund such a wild, luxurious and therapeutic journey? However, I believe her message is that we should each create our own journey--whatever works for each person's budget and personal needs.

Verdict: 4 stars out of 5.

Ten Things I Wish I'd Known Before Going Into the Real World

Author: Maria Shriver
Genre: self-help

I ordered this one on half.com as an audiobook, because I've only ever done the audiobook thing once in my life before. I got this particular piece by Shriver because I was so inspired by her last little self-help book, and I admire her focus, ambition and ability to multitask career & family. As a woman, that kind of balance is like a fine art. What made me respect her so much in her last book was that her writer's voice uniquely demonstrated her ability to be down-to-earth and laugh at herself - while realistically acknowledging her fortunate background.

I was able to listen to Ten Things...while just driving around to various appointments in the span of 2-3 days. I would recommend this as an audiobook because it seemed like the perfect way to consume/ingest such a story. Shriver's story further inspired me to work through professional and personal obstacles and to not worry about the opinions and judgments of others.

The Language of Blood by Jane Jeong Trenka

Length: 263 pages
Genre: Narrative Memoir/World Cultures
To Purchase: $0.25-$23 on Amazon

This novel is a memoir by a Korean-American adoptee. Brought to the United States in the 1970s, Kyong-Ah left her Korean identity at the time of her adoption by American parents--thereby becoming Jane Brauer. Trenka tells her story chronologically, detailing her grade school years spent in rural Minnesota, and college years in a more urban setting in MN. Later in the book, she tells of her return to Korea and learning all about her family--recovering her Korean identity and establishing special bonds with her Umma (mother) and sisters.

The perspective with which she writes is fascinating and I admire Trenka's style--she is a realist and tells it like it is. Some parts of her story were challenging to get through, but overall it was extremely insightful for anyone interested in topics ranging from cultural studies to adoption. My experience living in S. Korea this past year gave me a deeper appreciation for Trenka's story. I'm grateful my Korean friend Zee was kind enough to lend me this book!

To learn more the author's books and writings, visit her blog here. I'm looking forward to reading her follow-up book. Here are some of my favorite quotes from throughout The Language of Blood:

"Some things I will never know; others I am learning gradually, with effort and determination. In the latter category are Korean manners and language, including the names of things with no English equivalents; Korean history; the difference between Eastern and Western dragons; how not to stereotype other Asian people. I am learning to navigate the gap in perception that lies between my view of the world, the white American view of the world, and the Korean view of the world."

"Consider another recipe: Start with a girl girl whose blood has been steeped in Korea for generations, imprinted with Confucianism and shamanism and war. Extract her from the mountains. Plant her in wheat fields between the Red River and the Mississippi. Baptize her. Indoctrinate her. Tell her who she is. Tell her what is real. See what happens."

"So, like a know-it-all, naive college graduate who thinks she is going to be "alternative" and cool, like a dumb American who tries to mimic the native culture but fails badly without even knowing it--I choose a gold, reversed swastika. I thought it would be great to take back to America because it's a Buddhist symbol, and I would look super-exotic wearing it, and I was so happy with myself for even knowing it was a Buddhist symbol, and so on."

"I have little patience for "ex-pates" who ricochet around the globe in search of the perfect cafe, willing women, cheap wine. Yet there are some whose experiences resonate with me; for those who find their place, their second home, yearning is transformed into something else, something ghostly yet real as flesh."